They said what??

A reprint of my Jan. 7 Slapshots column from the Woodford Sun

For the most part, I thoroughly enjoyed my New Year’s Day trip to football Nirvana.

I managed to spend the bulk of the day firmly planted on the couch. It all started at 11 a.m. with the Outback Bowl and continued past midnight as I celebrated the Gators’ 54-24 thumping of the Cincinnati Bearcats. And with a little channel surfing, I also managed to catch parts of the NHL Outdoor Classic between the Boston Bruins and the Philadelphia Flyers.

Yeah, hockey in Fenway Park was pretty cool.

I followed up on Saturday watching my USF Bulls win the meaningless International Bowl over Northern Illinois and then caught the UK-U of L basketball game.

But with all of that time absorbed in sports, there was bound to be a downside. And no, I do not consider eating an entire bag of Tostitos and a container of salsa in one afternoon a low point.

No, that involved some of the TV commentators.

Is it just me, or do some of these guys need to learn the value of silence?

I think the low point came during the Kentucky-Louisville game when Clark Kellogg repeatedly used the word “spurtability.” Really Clark? On network TV?

And other announcers managed to make themselves sound like idiots using real live words – from the English language.

So I thought it would be fun to start the year by sharing some of the more asinine comments out of the mouths’ of TV analysts.

“Neither one of these defenses want to give up the big play.”

As if somewhere a defensive coordinator is sitting in his darkened office scheming ways to give up the big play - hopefully leading to points.

“That is just a pure football player.”

As opposed to all of the diluted football players on the field? Or perhaps some hybrid players.

“The game’s changed a little, you’ve got to make plays.”

I vaguely remember football back in the early ’70s. They didn’t have to make plays back in those days. Refs arbitrarily awarded points.

“I think Jimbo (Jimbo Fisher, offensive coordinator for Florida State) would love to make first downs.”

After watching the Seminoles play the Gators a few weeks ago, I could debate that notion.

“And Florida State makes this a football game.”

I’m not sure what they were playing before. Perhaps badminton?

“They each have a touchdown, so they both know how to get into the end zone”

If they need help, they can always purchase one of those fancy GPS contraptions.

“Not quite as straight, but they all count if they go through the uprights.”

Woohoo! Thank you obvious man!

And finally, my personal favorite…

“Good feet. He needs those feet.”

I guess I won’t ask to borrow them then.

Happy New Year, sports fans.

Quick Shots
University of Kentucky football coach Rich Brooks announced his retirement on Monday, Jan. 4. He said that he felt like it was just time to step aside.

“This is the end of the road of the old man’s coaching career,” Brooks said.

Some inside sources say that frustration with the university partly drove his decision – frustration stemming from UK’s reluctance to pour money into the football program, particularly facilities and assistant coaches salaries. Brooks is too classy to come out and blast the program, but the fact that he mentioned facilities upgrades on his laundry list of things he’d like to see Kentucky do in the future makes me wonder if there isn’t some truth to the rumors. Basketball will always reign as king in Kentucky. Perhaps Brooks got tired of playing in the backup band.

Analysts have raised a number of valid questions regarding Tim Tebow’s future as an NFL quarterback. It was almost as if he set out to erase those question marks in the Sugar Bowl. The Gator senior completed 31 of 35 passes for 482 yards and three touchdowns. Some may suspect his throwing mechanics. They may question his ability to read pro defenses. But I sure wouldn’t bet against the heart and desire of this kid.

Broadcasters praised UK big-man DeMarcus Cousins for maintaining his cool despite the intensity of the Kentucky-Louisville game. After watching several replays of his elbow to the head of Jared Swopshire, I’d hate to see what would have happened if he HAD lost his cool.

Quote of the Week
“I’d like to start like I always do with the injury report. I’m walking and well, so that’s the injury report.” –Former University of Kentucky football coach Rich Brooks opening up the press conference announcing his retirement.

Puck to the Head
This week’s pucks fly at the heads of the four University of Tennessee basketball players for getting themselves arrested after a traffic stop in Knoxville. Tyler Smith, Melvin Goins, Brian Williams and Cameron Tatum were arrested after police say they found a handgun with an altered serial number, marijuana and an open container of alcohol in the car. Police initially pulled the car over for speeding. Mixing guns, alcohol and drugs. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. * Insert strains of Rocky Top here *

Gut check time

A reprint of my Oct. 23 SlapShots column published in the Woodford Sun

Now it’s gut-check time.

Woodford County High School football players thought they were traveling deep into Eastern Kentucky on Oct. 16 to play an important district football game. Turns out they’d been invited to Paintsville to participate in a good old fashioned butt-whuppin’.

Johnson Central not only won the game, they beat the Yellow Jackets like the proverbial unwanted stepchild. It wasn’t just that the Golden Eagles out-executed Woodford. It wasn’t just that the Jackets caught some bad breaks or made a few mistakes. No, it was much worse than that. Johnson Central flat out imposed its will on Woodford County, out-physicaling, out-muscling and out-willing the Jackets.

It was ugly, like a bully roughing up the little kid in the school hallway. The Golden Eagles ran for over 600 yards. They ran around the Woodford D. They ran through the Woodford D. And they ran right over the Woodford D – just because they could.

When the final horn mercifully sounded, the scoreboard testified to the carnage – 64-14 Golden Eagles.

Every time Johnson Central scored, a loud foghorn blasted through the PA system. We heard that sound a lot. It was on my nerves before the end of the first quarter. It was an audible reminder to Woodford players and fans. Listen – we’re dominating you. Listen – we’re pushing you around. Listen – you lose.

Woodford players need to remember that sound and all it represents.

Because good news remains hidden in the aftermath of that Johnson Central game. The season didn’t end. The Jackets weren’t sent home to sit out the remainder of the football season in their living rooms. Woodford lives to fight another day.

That “another day” is Saturday, Oct. 24, when Ashland Blazer comes to town, and the Yellow Jackets would do well to remember one thing when they take the field. They were beaten in Paintsville, but they have within their power the choice to refuse defeat.

Notice the key word – choice.

The Yellow Jackets could just lie down. They could quit. They could let the Johnson Central game become the defining moment of the 2009 season – complete with blaring foghorn. Or they could look at themselves in the mirror and say, “No! We refuse to allow what happened in that one game brand this team. We are going to go out and play against Ashland in such a way that nobody remembers that Johnson Central game.”

Most football fans will remember that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers won the Super Bowl in 2003. They beat the Oakland Raiders 48-21 in San Diego. But only the most die-hard pewter and red fan will remember that the Pittsburgh Steelers embarrassed the Bucs on their home field in week 16. To add insult to injury, it was in front of a national TV audience on Monday Night Football. The score was 17-7, but it wasn’t as close as that. Pittsburgh manhandled Tampa Bay after Steelers’ defensive back Lee Flowers called the Bucs, “paper champions.”

That was the last game the Bucs would lose that season. The Pittsburgh game was a turning point for the Bucs. They took the lessons learned in defeat and vowed that they WOULD NOT experience that embarrassment again. It was a matter of will, and their collective will prevailed.

Woodford has the opportunity to do the same. I believe the Jackets are a much better team than the team I saw run over by Johnson Central. I believe that they can put that game behind them and make a statement against Ashland, turning a potentially ugly defining moment into an afterthought. I believe that Woodford County can come out with grit, fire and determination on Saturday and redeem themselves.

One question remains – do they believe?

Quick Shots

Teams are rarely as good or as bad as fans may think based on a given game. Early in the season, I wrote that Kentucky wasn’t as good as some fans thought after the Wildcats beat Miami of Ohio and Louisville. But I also didn’t think they were as bad as some seemed to believe after three straight losses to top-ranked SEC opponents, with some fans calling for the head of Rich Brooks on a platter. The Cats proved me correct with a gutsy come from behind win over Auburn on the road. Brooks looks like a genius this week.

Big Blue Madness officially kicked off the Calipari era on Friday, Oct. 16. Expectations for this Wildcat crew blew right out past the highest rafters of Rupp Arena. I actually heard one Cat fan say that if UK doesn’t make the Final Four, Calipari should be looking for a new job. Once again, teams are rarely as good or bad as fans seem to think at a given moment. Kentucky certainly has great potential. But fans need to remember potential mean nothing unless realized. UK also has a great deal of youth and inexperience learning a brand new system under a new skipper. It wouldn’t surprise me if the Wildcats made a late season tournament run. But it also won’t surprise me if Kentucky struggles early in the season and drops at least one clunker.

I think I got a little carried away devoting column space to the Cincinnati Bengals. The stripes seemed to fall off the Tiger as Cincy lost to the Houston Texans 28-17 at home.

And in NASCAR news, just insert all of the glowing things I said last week about Jimmy Johnson and his late season prowess here. The number 48 won – again. He ran away from the field in the final laps of the NASCAR Banking 500 at Lowe’s Motor Speedway in Charlotte and extended his points lead over Mark Martin to 90.

Quote of the week

“I watch the other conferences all the time and I think, Boy, I’d like to play them.”
-Ole Miss coach Houston Nutt talking about the dominance of SEC football.

Puck to the head

This week’s puck flies at the head of Johnson Central coach Jim Matney for keeping virtually all of his starters in the game against Woodford County with a 50 point lead. The Yellow Jackets were substituting in JV players, but Matney stuck with his starters until the bitter end. If a team puts in its backups and continues to score points, I have no problem with that. It’s the job of the opponent to stop them. But to keep starters in with a 50-point lead takes a step beyond classless – especially at the high school level. Matney would do well to remember what goes around comes around.

Practice Practice Practice

A reprint of my Sept. 10 SlapShots column

"It's not the will to win, but the will to prepare to win that makes the difference.”
-Paul Bear Bryant

Every athlete wants to win. Every team begins a season wanting a championship. Every competitor takes the field struggling and striving, wanting to reach the top.

But simply wanting something does not make it so. At some point, DOING must factor into the equation.

And that doing begins long before those stadium lights flicker on – in out-of-the-way places, at unlikely times, in quiet moments broken only by grunts, labored breathing and the sharp, staccato commands of coaches.

Behind every moment under the blazing stadium lights and for every goose bump raised on an athlete’s arm when the fans scream with abandon, stretch hours of inglorious sweat and pain on the practice field.

Every athlete has suffered through “one of those” practices. The workout where it seems nobody on the team can find the same page. The one in which the last 30 minutes consists of running “gassers” because the team failed to accomplish anything else on the field. Athletes hate those practices. They look forward to them with the kind of dread normally reserved for a stint in the dental chair. And when it finally ends and the team has safely gathered in the locker room, it collectively showers the coach, long out of earshot, with horrible invectives for putting them through such torture.

But a method exists within the coach’s madness. The skipper knows that without preparation, the team will tank it in competition.

When I was playing hockey for the University of South Florida, our coach would often tell us, “You will only play as well as you practice.”

It was amazingly accurate prophecy.

The Woodford County High School football team learned that lesson last week. After what was reportedly a lackluster week of practice, lacking in focus and intensity, the Jackets lost a game to Dunbar – a team they should have beat. The lack of focus and intensity seemed to spill over from the practice field into Community Stadium.

“When you don’t prepare, you get beat,” Woodford coach Chris Tracy told his team after the disappointing loss.

But an early season defeat like the Jackets suffered at the hands of Dunbar can prove positive, IF the team learns the lesson.

“I hope that focuses you, because in the grand scheme of things, this game doesn’t mean a thing,” Tracy said.

Nope, the game didn’t mean a thing in the overall picture. It was a match-up against a team in another class. (Woodford plays in 5A and Dunbar competes as a 6A school.) But it could well prove a turning point in the season – if the team takes the lesson to heart and puts the effort in on the practice field.

Yellow Jacket quarterback Ryan Garrahan has the right idea.

“All we can do is get out in practice and bust our butts to correct the mistakes.”

That’s the secret. Busting butts – every minute of every practice.

I have no doubt that the Jackets want to win, but will their desire to win translate into a will to prepare?

Quick Shots

As I walked into Community Stadium last Friday, I got a little thrill as I looked up into the stands and saw them filled with yellow and black. There’s nothing like the atmosphere of a Friday night high school football game, especially in a small town. The sound of the marching band, the chants of the cheerleaders, the churning prism of school colors, the adolescent bravado of the players and the carefree giggles of teenage flirting all wrapped in the bright white stadium lighting captures something uniquely Americana. In a country that often seems torn and fractured by political rhetoric, a small town high school football game does something politicians and pundits find impossible. It brings a community together.

Easy there UK fan. It was just Miami of Ohio. Yes, your Wildcats looked pretty good. The offense put points on the board and the defense pitched a shutout. But keep in mind that they were facing a small conference team with a brand new coach, and there were some things that would concern me if I were a Big Blue fan. The offense was pretty much the Randal Cobb show, and a one-dimensional attack isn’t going to cut it against an SEC defense. And speaking of defense, the Wildcat D failed to put pressure on the Miami QB throughout most of the game, and that could spell big trouble down the line. But the good news for the Cat faithful is that UK beat a team that they should beat. That hasn’t always been the case. It may well prove a good season for the Wildcats, but don’t get delusions of grandeur based on this game.

I was looking at the qualifying order before the NASCAR Pep Boys Auto 500 race. As I was reading the order to my wife, she asked me where Dale Earnhardt Jr. qualified. I told her I hadn’t gotten to him yet, to which she replied, “You should have started from the back.” Kasey Kahne won the race, running away after a late caution. Earnhardt took 17th.

Quote of the Week

“I don’t think toughness is when a quarterback says, ‘I’m going to run somebody over.’ Toughness is playing the worst game of your life, but not backing down. You don’t want to sit on the sideline. You want to stay in there and win.”
-Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger

Puck to the head

This week’s puck flies at the head of University of Oregon running back LeGarrette Blount for punching Boise State defensive end Byron Hout in the jaw after the Sept. 3 game between the Ducks and Broncos. Blount allegedly threw the punch after Hout taunted him. Apparently Blount missed that whole “names can never hurt me” thing in grade school.